Navigating work and family: Insights from a Parent Coach

Managing The Mental Load Through Coaching

My niche is ‘Parents in the workplace’, no matter whether you’re self-employed, in a business or corporate. Helping parents have the time and space to reflect on themselves, in the variety of roles that they play in raising a family whilst managing a professional career.  Can you have it all, yes, as long as you know what “all” is for you. Coaching gives them the safe space to be honest about their emotional, mental and physical states.  You can love your family with all your heart, but sometimes feel unhappy about certain situations you might be facing.

My coaching practice, Win at Life, helps parents to look at their “whole self”, to delve into the challenges and take control of the way forward.  The sessions focus on the growth of the client as an individual, connecting them with their strengths a parent and as a career professional.  No matter how much we want to “put our work hat on”, you can’t leave your family life at the door.  Your mental load impacts how you perform on a daily basis.  When you can focus on managing the mental load through coaching, your confidence and self-esteem is heightened so you can perform at home and at work to your very best.

The Reward of Seeing Clients Thrive

Having been through my own parental burnout, understanding the impact it has on the person, as well as those around them, I didn’t want anyone else to get to that stage.  Society places a lot of pressure on parents to do it all, with both parents working (especially with the cost of living challenges), childcare costs so high, worries about the mental health of our children, the influence of social media, and the pressure to strive to “have it all”.  The pressure to do “the right thing” is immense.  I’ve been able to help so many parents, from those returning to work after a maternity/paternity/career break to those who are going through separation/divorce or struggling to connect with teens, as well as supporting with exam stress or managing university/work transitions.  Seeing my clients find happiness and joy in being a working parent, is so rewarding.

Raising a family, should not be a disadvantage to anyone in their professional lives.  Becoming a parent doesn’t mean it’s bad for your career, it’s different, but we still grow and improve.  There are so many skills parents develop while raising a family, but we focus on what we’ve lost rather than what we’ve gained. Strengths which parents use on a daily basis without even thinking about it, which can be overlooked and underappreciated in the workplace.  Organisations who see the benefits of supporting the parents in their workplace, will get their investment in loyal, focused and motivated employees. It’s a win-win for everyone.

Training That Leads to Success

My highlight has been achieving my ACC (Associate Certified Coach) credentials from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), after meeting the coaching hours required, as well as passing the exam.  The Coaching Academy Diplomas (yes plural, I did the Personal Performance Diploma and the Coaching in Education) training was so vital in providing valuable coaching skills and requirements in order to achieve my ACC, so I am grateful to all the trainers at The Coaching Academy.  I’m also so proud of launching my coaching practice and seeing the pride in my children, as they see their mum/stepmum, following her passion to help others, even at my age! Being an example to them of what is possible, no matter your background, upbringing, gender or age is a real driver for me.  Having come to this country at the age 7, not speaking much English, I’ve had to overcome societal discriminations as well as my own insecurities to fit it and create a life that means success to me.

I want to bring joy back into parenting, I want everyone to have access to coaching, to really see the benefits it can bring to parents.  Coaching has not only provided me with the skills to run my own practice, but it has also made me a much better, more patient parent, which has created improvements and happiness in my family.  I’d like to share the magic of coaching to parents, to organisations, to shine a light on the positive strengths of parenting, creating confidence and self-belief in our working parents.

Coaching Insights for Balancing Work and Family

Coaching working parents involves addressing their unique challenges and helping them find a balance between professional responsibilities and family life.  Here are the top 3 coaching insights:

1. Prioritising self-care – working parents tend to prioritise their work and family needs over their own wellbeing, which leads to burnout.  Although self-care can sometimes seem frivolous when you have so many things to do, recharging your batteries, having some “me time”, can make a difference to your mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as your performance.  
2. Developing boundaries – whether returning parents “overcompensate” to catch up or whether it’s our inability to “let our family down”, it can be difficult to say no.  Societal pressures and fear of judgement if parents are not seen to be “having it all” can cause parents to avoid developing and maintaining boundaries.  Empowering them to set and preserve boundaries will help create sustainable professional success, family happiness and bring some joy. 
3. Challenging parental guilt – that common, yet complex emotion experienced by many parents, particularly working parents, who try to balance the demands of their careers with the responsibilities of raising and caring for a family.  It stems from the belief that they are not meeting the expectations or ideals of what it means to be a “good parent”.  These areas of guilt could be anything from unrealistic expectations of oneself or society/others to comparisons to other parents or work life balance or conflicts between personal and family needs.  That guilt crops up, it’s not going to go away and it’s how we deal with those feelings that can help to maintain positive mental and emotional health, as well as thriving professionally.  Acknowledging and challenging the ‘guilt’ and defining how it’s impacting you and why, can help to deal with whether it’s serving a purpose, or it’s coming from something or someone else.  Exploring this through coaching can help to keep the guilt in check.

Consider Your Growth and Learning

Initially, training to be a Personal Performance Coach, was a way for me to start my own practice, but the training journey has given me honest insights into myself.  It’s been a journey of self-discovery.  For the first time, I felt I could be honest with myself, to really embrace who I am and what I want from life.  I’ve let go of the external expectations, I’ve understood my own internal expectations, and I know what happiness and success means to me.  

This newfound clarity has given me a renewed confidence and self-belief and made me a better person (and parent).  One who is more patient, understanding, with more awareness of my emotional and metal states, leading to a family life that’s never been happier.  That’s no mean feat when you’re a working mum of teenagers and a stepmum too.  Is it perfect?  No, it’s not – but I’ve let go of that perfectionism trait and I know it doesn’t need to be perfect, it needs to be “right for us”.  

So, if you’re thinking of training to become a coach, don’t just consider what you can do for others, but also on the personal growth and transformation you'll experience along the way.

Thank you Shwezin for sharing your inspirational coaching journey with us!  

If you are feeling inspired and would you like to find out more about how training as a life coach can change your life, and the lives of others, then join us on our free Introduction to Life Coaching webinar - choose from available dates here.