How To Tackle Imposter Syndrome

As coaches we need to be aware of imposter syndrome. It is the creeping self-doubt that often steers our client’s thoughts and actions and makes them feel as though they are not deserving of their achievements. It stands in the way of them setting the goals they really want, saps their motivation, and takes away all the joy of celebrating their successes. 

Imposter syndrome can affect even the most outwardly successful people. Michelle Obama has said, ‘I had to overcome the question “am I good enough?” It’s dogged me for most of my life.’ Maya Angelou, who has sold millions of books, has also openly talked about her feelings of imposter syndrome saying, ‘I have written eleven books, but each time I think, “Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.”

Imposter syndrome might be the reason a client has come to you for coaching, or it may surface during a session. Here are a few of the most common signs of imposter syndrome:

• Unable to recognise their abilities and talents.
• Feeling like a fraud no matter how well they are doing.
• Outwardly celebrating success but inwardly believing they don’t deserve praise or recognition.
• Trying to downplay successes with phrases such as, ‘I got lucky’, ‘I had a lot of help’, or, ‘It was a one off’.

The feeling of imposter syndrome is a cycle that can’t always simply be solved with more success. If you think about it, we begin with anxious thoughts about our capabilities when we are set a task. Driven by these anxious thoughts we get to work, often over-preparing, and riddled with worry. The task is finally delivered and there is a moment of relief. Our work is praised, but instead of accepting this praise we push it away, making excuses for our successes. We feel like a fraud and at any moment our incompetence will be revealed for everyone to see. This feeling increases our self-doubt, ratcheting up our anxiety to the next level. In response to our good work, we are set another task that is even more challenging than the last and we begin the cycle again, this time with even more worry and self-doubt. 

We need to help our clients briefly step outside of that cycle so they can assess the situation objectively. This can be done in a few ways:

1. Firstly, congratulate them on having the courage to talk about it. When our fears are named, they hold less power over us.
2. Ask them about what they had to overcome to get to where they are today. Through careful questioning we can encourage them to acknowledge the struggles they’ve had along the way.
3. Ask them to name the attributes and behaviours that have contributed to their successes. Reflect back to them when they try to dismiss their achievements. Suggest that they write these attributes and behaviours down and stick them somewhere visible so they are always reminded that ‘I can, and I have.’
4. Find out if your client is a perfectionist. Often perfectionism and imposter syndrome go hand in hand. It can even be the desire for perfect outcomes that begins the imposter syndrome cycle. If we can break the need for perfectionism, then we can have more realistic expectations of ourselves.
5. Separate facts from feelings. How long have they been saying ‘I’m not really…’ It may have even once been true, but what is the evidence for it now? Forget five or ten years ago, where are they now?

Imposter syndrome may not go away overnight but by recognising it for what it is – a form of limiting beliefs – then we can begin to recognise it, question it, and ask for the evidence supporting it. 

To find out more about the magic of coaching then join us at our free Introduction to Life Coaching webinar.  At The Coaching Academy we always want to hear your thoughts on the topics we have discussed, so get in touch and let us know how you have tackled imposter syndrome!