Following on from his powerful “Coaching Conversations” discussion with Sharon Lawton (TCA Head of Training), Johnny Lawrence, The Self Development Coach. Johnny is a TCA-certified Behaviour Change Coach and shares his insights on how to navigate change with confidence using the 4 Stages of Behavioural Change. Whether you're looking to improve personal habits or make significant shifts in your professional life, understanding these stages can provide you with a reliable framework for progress.
When embarking on a process of change coaching models such as the G.R.O.W. model are integral in helping to structure a coaching session and plan. It's hugely motivating to have a goal, to know where you are concerning that goal and to identify what might help and hinder your progress. However, for some clients, at times it may be difficult to maintain motivation throughout the journey as goals may not be achieved, and while this can be challenging, as coaches we know that this it also opens up new opportunities for growth and exploration as the client identifies what it is they really want. Embracing change can help individuals navigate any anxieties and find a clearer path forward.
Over time I have been helping people and I have identified four key areas of focus on that can place clients back on track and begin moving them forward again if they start to feel demotivated or stuck. These four stages of behavioural change can serve as a measure of progress and a framework for analysis when their original plan breaks down.
When someone presents you with their problem, they often offer you the solution. More commonly, people are still working out the problem and may stop short of discovering it because of denial, fear, or unawareness. However, you cannot find a solution to a problem you are unaware of, so awareness is the first place to start. Identifying with clarity and conciseness, ‘What is the real problem?’ is the foundation for finding a solution. Establishing what the problem is and what it is not is the key to knowing where to place your focus and where you place your focus grows. We often become distracted by the symptoms of a problem instead of becoming fully aware of the actual problem.
Our ego wants to move us closer to comfort and away from discomfort, and it often does this through familiarity. It may be the case that someone else is accountable for taking an action that will benefit you and that it is them who ‘should’ do it. This may be a familiar source of resistance and could hold progress back. However, it is not getting done, and it is not them that will suffer the consequences. This could be the time to ask, ‘Could you do it? Your ego will demand that they should do it, and it’s probably right, but if there is a desired result that will come from this action, then it might be time to take back some power. Imposter Syndrome will likely rear its head, probably a form of shame born from the panic attached to the unfamiliarity of taking the lead. Questions that could be asked at this stage are: Where in this situation are you giving away your power? What could you do that you are waiting for someone else to do, and as a result, you are giving away your power? What if you took accountability? How would this move you forward?
This stage is by far the most challenging. You are aware of the problem and have taken accountability for what you can. Now you can ask, what in this situation do you not have influence over? What are you repeatedly replaying, wanting it to be different? What must you accept? Something that is not always clear is that acceptance is not a doing word, and if you are working on acceptance, you are probably not trying to accept it but trying to change it so you can accept it. Some things impact us so profoundly that we feel we demand action even though we cannot have any influence. This response can cloud your judgement, stealing your focus and keeping you trapped in a cycle of unhelpful emotions. Identifying what must be accepted because you have no autonomy of over it is a vital stage of change.
Change rarely happens without action. Now, you are fully aware of the problem and what must change. You have taken accountability for what you can control and accepted what you cannot. This understanding can provide direction toward where you must act. When we hesitate or procrastinate, it can be a sign that we are avoiding what we dread must be done. Action is the fuel for change.
Imposter syndrome, procrastination, comparison, self-sabotage and perfectionism are all situations that can be created by a fear or a need. Challenging your awareness, taking accountability for what you can and accepting what you can’t, I have found to be a helpful strategy towards providing the confidence, self-belief and reassurance that you are the person you are working to become and that when you do what is needed, you will be able to handle it. It reminds you that you are on your path and do not desire to sabotage yourself. You can begin to realise that nobody is perfect, that perfection is impossible, and that change is possible when you focus on the right areas. This model offers a framework for breaking down problems and finding solutions. Still, it can also provide a means to assess your progress and reassure you that you are making some progress and doing better than you might think by offering you some evidence of progress that is not attached directly to a goal.
By integrating these four stages of behavioural change into your personal development or professional growth strategy, you create a structure that can help you stay focused, motivated, and on track. It's about understanding yourself, taking control where you can, accepting what you can't change, and taking decisive action to move forward.
The Self Development Coach, Johnny Lawrence, is a TCA-certified Behavioural Change Coach and one of our alumni coaches. He helps people create permanent and meaningful change. He’s also a speaker, a writer and podcaster.
If you missed Johnny's powerful Coaching Conversations discussion on with our Head of Training, Sharon Lawton, you can watch the reply on The Coaching Academy's YouTube Channel - be sure to be ready for an incredible story of resilience and the powerful impact of coaching!
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