Exploring curiosity in life coaching: Can a coach be TOO curious?

I’m curious about curiosity.  So curious, in fact, that I am doing a PhD on how curiosity and wellbeing are connected. This came about through wondering about the main components of wellbeing. I learn a lot of my lessons through watching children and animals – and curiosity is one thing they both share in bucket loads.  Anyone fortunate enough to observe a child in a state of flow, fuelled by an intrinsic motivation for personally meaningful insight, is likely witness to the existential value of curiosity firsthand. Animals are the same, present in the moment of whatever has piqued their inquisitiveness and in search of new knowledge. 

Curiosity’s Role in Human Evolution

Human evolution is reliant on the desire to obtain additional knowledge - knowledge that only becomes genuinely meaningful when merged with what is already known and understood accordingly. Curiosity is associated with exploring the world, asking questions that expediate new perspectives, and full absorption in an experience through which new knowledge may be obtained. 

History reveals curiosity occupying a place at both ends of the spectrum of virtue and vice. Connected philosophically with wisdom, and yet implicated theologically in original sin, curiosity is a complex concept that, despite its polarity, is generally viewed as a powerful human motivator.

Curiosity has certainly had some bad press through the ages. Eve in the garden, Pandora and the box, Dr Frankenstein… not to mention poor cats!

Curiosity in Coaching

From the perspective of coaching, curiosity is usually considered valuable for both coaches and clients. It’s easy to appreciate how a client’s ‘desire to know’ what they want, how they might get there, what they need to help them, what might get in their way, who can help etc. will be useful to someone in attaining their goals. 

It’s also easy to see how a coach channelling their curiosity towards the lens through which the client sees the world is hugely valuable for asking the right questions and developing rapport. 

I LOVE curiosity, though I recognise there are some important nuances to consider when it comes to curiosity in coaching: 

1. For the coach, following their trail of curiosity may take them away from the client’s view of the world and towards their own. Instead of ‘I’m curious, what’s important about X?’ try ‘Being curious, what’s important about X?’ This keeps the curiosity neutral rather than belonging to the coach and offers it up as an option to the client.    
2. Not all curiosity is equal in the coaching process. Afterall, time spent looking one way, is time not spent looking the other. So, if a client follows all their curiosities irrespective of ultimate value, that isn’t necessarily going to facilitate wellbeing. A good question to ask is: ‘How might your curiosity about X move you closer to your goal?’.  
3. The research suggests that curiosity is only piqued if the gap between what is known and what isn’t known is sufficiently narrow. That is, we are not curious about knowledge we don’t believe we can attain. What this means for coaching is that current reality needs to be thoroughly explored as does the client’s ideal scenario – which has to feel achievable. Metaphorically, once the other bank is in sight, the explorer can make plans to cross the river. Within this zone, the coach can ask questions such as: ‘What would you like to find out in relation to moving from A to B?’ or ‘What do you need to know to help you get from A to B?’.  
4. Curiosity can be unsettling as it involves admitting to not knowing – even if that’s only temporarily. Curiosity often moves someone out of their comfort zone and into their stretch or even their panic zone. When contracting with a client about the level of challenge they wish the coach to use in their session, a question such as ‘to what extent would you like your thoughts, feelings and beliefs to be challenged?’ can be useful.    If a client wishes to have a high level of challenge a question such as ‘what don’t you know in this situation?’ could be asked as opposed to the gentler alternative of ‘what might be useful to know in this situation?’.   
5. Curiosity, when not accompanied by humility and compassion, can lead to difficulties.  In the modern world, there is so much we could know but knowledge is power and with power comes responsibility. Checking in that our curiosities bring about wise questions and that we can handle the answers is important for client and coach. Remembering that the emotional ‘unpacking’ that is often used in a therapeutic approach is not safe in a coaching approach is key. 

Ultimately, we are curious creatures, and curiosity is foundational to the philosophy of coaching. That said, curiosity is an incredible powerful force and needs to be treated as such if it is to support wellbeing.   

Stay curious, stay compassionate, and keep exploring!

If you're eager to learn more about the role of curiosity in coaching, you can watch the replay of our insightful Coaching Conversations discussion on "Curiosity and Coaching" with Rachael and our Head of Training, Sharon Lawton on The Coaching Academy's YouTube Channel.

About Author:

Rachael Bushby is Founding Director of Dragonfly: Impact Education and Coaches in Kind C.I.C. As a result of her positive experience of coaching, Rachael strongly feels children and young people can be supported to set goals and find their own answers, and that the philosophy of asking wise, character-developing questions is lacking in our current education system.

Rachael is an International Coaching Federation ACC Accredited coach and a coach-trainer for The Coaching Academy (TCA), delivering on the Coaching in Education programme, the Mental Health and Wellbeing CPD and the Wellbeing Niche Day, as well as Coaching Skills and Peer-to-Peers sessions on the Personal Performance Diploma. 

Rachael’s love of questions led her to complete an MA in Character Education and embark on a PhD focused on the subject of curiosity. She is also a research fellow at the Jubilee Centre for Character and Virtues at the University of Birmingham.