Many of us have met people who choose to cast a pall of gloom over themselves, their environment and other people on a daily basis. They may well have their reasons for doing this, after all, it is a very challenging time for many at present, but also it could just be their default mindset.
As Life Coaches (or Executive Coaches / Business Coaches), we know that a negative mindset is destructive to both them and us. If we are not careful, we could find ourselves being dragged down with them and notice we start moaning and finding fault too, complaining and whining about trivial matters.
Coaches are the ones who are tasked with helping pull our clients out of a place of negativity, hence it is very important that we guard against adopting a negative mindset too to ensure that we can do our job effectively. Often too, we might even be the only ones in their ‘world’ who do not adopt their negative thinking and hence they have chosen to work with us so they can finally move forward more positively.
The first thing to do is to find a method of protection against the negative influences in our lives. These include: ourselves and our self-criticism, others, the news, television programmes, arguments, toxic people, and social media.
Of course, at other times, all of these can be positive influences on us, even an argument when it’s directed into an empowering debate can be positive!
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told ‘Yes but you can’t always be positive.’ and the funny thing is what almost everyone means is ‘How is it that you are always positive, I find it really hard’ which, of course, brings a different meaning to their words.
Anyway, the simple answer is ‘Yes I can, I choose my mindset just as I choose the clothes I wear and the food I eat and I choose positive.’
Adopting a positive attitude: every day, as part of your getting up routine, stop for a moment and look at yourself in the mirror. Smile. Decide how you are going to feel today. Smile. See yourself going about your day in a happy, positive way. Smile. Feel as good as you can feel. Send love to yourself. Smile. Be grateful for all the good in your life. Smile. Go and have a positive day! Find a method of protection: there is a very good NLP technique that puts a barrier between your mind and the negativity surrounding you. As you notice the negativity coming towards you, possibly in the form of a stream of negative statements from a colleague, partner or child, simply imagine winding up a window between you and them. See them on the other side, notice that they are speaking and allow the words to fall harmlessly onto the window and slide down without harming you. Nothing can permeate the window. Smile at them, make your excuses and remove yourself from the situation.
Stand up to yourself: the single biggest point of sabotage is self-sabotage. Most of us are excellent at talking ourselves down and working our mood down with us until we are thoroughly miserable, anxious and lacking in confidence. Speak back to yourself, when you hear the words in your head, whatever they are saying to bring you down, turn it around and replace it with something positive instead. Be firm with yourself, do whatever it takes to drown out the negative words – sing, hum, listen to some upbeat music, phone a friend, read some inspiring words, write some inspiring words. Make it a habit to control your thoughts each time you hear a negative one rising, and switch it to a positive alternative.
Stand up to others: hopefully, there aren’t any people in your life who say negative things about you. If it comes about that someone says something which is negative in an unavoidable situation, then rephrase it in your head as it comes in and repeat it back as a positive. By making a positive out of the negative comment we not only feel better about ourselves, we are also sending a message of positivity to the other person.
Set realistic expectations: Cultivate a continually positive attitude to make yourself more productive and more approachable. This will happen a day at a time, like any new skill, it takes time and practise to learn the best way to implement it in our lives. Keep practising and little by little, a day at a time and you will soon find you are able to engage a positive mindset and approach.
By engaging a positive mindset, we are better equipped to deal with any mishaps that happen during our day. By learning how to reframe a negative to a positive, we become able to maintain our positive mindset. By partnering our positive mindset with a proactive outlook, we become an energising force which enables us to engage confidently with our clients, colleagues, and the tasks ahead of us to understand how we can perform better.
Be prepared for good things to happen, positive things happen to positive people!
Kerri Mansfield is a Coaching Academy graduate and a Coach, mentor and transformational change strategist. In her business, she combines the disciplines of coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation to provide a customised blended solution for her clients.
If you are feeling inspired and would you like to find out more about becoming a coach, then do join us on our Introduction to Life Coaching webinar - choose from available dates here.
Are you already qualified as a coach? Our wide range of coaching training events, webinars and courses will enable you to upskill in your career or grow your coaching business – you can see the booking calendar here.
The Coaching Academy was established in 1999, and is now the world's largest coaching school.
In that time we have trained over 14,000 people to become life coaches.
We are accredited by the International Coach Federation and the Association for Coaching, and we're rated 4.8 out of 5 on Trustpilot.
